All There is to Know about Donald Trump

By Thesal Thayer
(with apologies to Leonard Cohen)

EYES:……………………………………...Green
HAIR:……………………………………...Blond
WEIGHT:………………………………...Heavy
HEIGHT:………………………………....6'2
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES….Wealth
NUMBER OF FINGERS:………......Ten
NUMBER OF TOES……………….....Ten
INTELLIGENCE……………………....Genius


What were you expecting?

Nuance?

Rationality?

Perspicuity?

Coherence?


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Thesal Thayer is the author of The Offliners.


Read Cohen's original here.